#11 Awful

Just another day.

    I’m still sick for more than two weeks already. The negative thing about me is that I have had a slow recovery from the common cold even before COVID-19 existed. When I was a college student way back in 2018, I had the worst flu ever and it lasted for three months. I visited the doctor two times and lose a lot of weight because of it. Luckily, there was no underlying condition, and I couldn’t recover because my thesis stressed me a lot.

    I should have invested in flu shots earlier this year, but those are expensive and I did not have a steady income since they implemented the nationwide lockdown.

    I really wanted to visit the doctor but I’m so broke, and small clinics don’t accept patients with coughs. They are referring me to visit the hospital instead, which I cannot really afford anymore, and dangerous.

    At least I’m paid my debts now, even with just a little salary that I’ve received today. Now, I only have Php 1,400 pesos in hand. *crying*

    I don’t know why I have a weak immune system - I’m taking daily vitamins and resting enough. Everyone told me I should gain weight, but I’m always petite since I was a child. I like food very much but it’s not my fault if I don’t really gain weight! Once, I consulted our university doctor for deworming, and there were no bugs inside of me! The doctor had only told me that my skeletal frame is tiny and I’m quite tall for an average Filipina, which is the reason I look very skinny. When I was a child, my parents were concerned that I had a primary complex and luckily, I didn’t have it. I remembered that I had several visits to the doctor and was prescribed to take some dietary supplements to gain weight. But it had no effect. I’m still skinny like I am today. Believe it or not, I can still wear my clothes from 6th grade.

    Ahhh, I hate this cold and cough. Then there will be another new typhoon next week - another rain.

    I really want to feel better soon.

    I feel so helpless because I was doing everything that I can to get better.

    I feel like a burden and a threat to everyone.

    It feels like hell!